Sexy Goldfish Commercial

A short clip with my music, a sexy fish and some titles created in FCP 7. A commercial of sorts.

The concept is engaging, the deployment & thus engagement rapidly diminishes. Why?

Sexy voice & little fish. Ok, we get it, but then what?
The attractive & creative lighting also holds our attention-span a moment longer, but it's not enough.
It's like a joke without a punchline, we need a little more, it's an "almost."
The problem is, the concept begins well then goes on too long, like an SNL skit.

A couple weird things, 2 little white bubbles on the glass on the lower right quadrant? There's an odd choppy edit while the fish is swimming in act 3. Also the text seems to have no connection to the film, so it appears more of an annoyance than embellishment. Speaking of embellishments, there's a lovely effect when light is reflected off rippling water, walls near pools look gorgeous with sunlight or spotlights providing this ripple-cast. I wouldn't mind some of that overlaid on the fishbowl or maybe fanning out on the black background with feathered edges. Also maybe experiment with some slowmo bubbles, maybe with bubble sound too, be daring just to see if it works, not for the whole thing, but some variety.

As the film stands currently, if it were half the length & had a payoff we'd be happy.
Maybe a gradual zoom or tracking shot in as something is dropped slowmo into the tank, as the fish goes to examine it, we fade to black. Might work, if it's the right item dropped.

The obvious choice would be a little fish house or castle, meh.. boring, more creatively interesting might be something that looks like one of those little oyster shells which open & close in fish tanks, but this one is a tiny jewelry case with a wedding ring.

That would fit nicely with the woman's voice. Glue some fish food onto the back of the ring's stone, then sit there with the camera rolling to get that all important shot of the fish kissing the ring. Maybe your vocalist makes a kissing sound. Fade to black...








J. Matthew
Global•Watch•Media•Consulting
www.GWM2.com

@GlobalWatchM3

I see dead pixels.