My second music video!

Hey guys! Been so long since I've been here on the forums. Hope you all are doing well. Below is my latest video production. I premiered my first one here to get feedback and so I thought I'd do the same with this one. I produced and wrote the song as well. Hope you guys enjoy and give feedback to a newer video maker like myself.

vimeo.com/74220256

Nice to see you again, Tawaan. It's been a little while since you shared here, & the quality of your work has increased considerably. Had to use this site's search feature to find your first music video , I had completely forgotten about that one. The only video I remembered was the one about your son & the unsavory topic of toilet training.

Naturally, as a filmmaker & musician, you certainly don't want your work to be forgettable. Perhaps some of the discussion following the first music video will help shed some light on why that film lacks memorability.

This latest one, however, makes a stronger statement. You've made some bold choices in the direction, which give it greater emotional impact. The music sounds for the most part professional. Though I'm not entirely convinced of its commercial viability. Your star brings a certain gravitas to the screen, granted mostly due to his imposing physical presence, though the voice is not unpleasant. The musical track, was for me, forgettable, but while writing this I thought I'd give the video a second view. Gotta say it sorta grows on you with a kind of smooth R&B Boyz 2 Men vibe. Bigg Rufus does well in his natural range (Tenor to Countertenor), but when he aims for those lower notes as in the final moments graveside, there's a slight pitch issue. On second listen, I relax my earlier stance to include, perhaps the song is marketable, but is he? That's the million dollar question that faces producers & led to the multimillion dollar success & eventual implosion of Milli Vanilli .

Audio aside, let's look at the video. There are a few shots that are outstanding. What looks like a slight jib descent as we look thru the tree leaves arriving at a open clearing as they walk hand in hand on a little dock. Loved it! The first light leak seemed appropriately timed, a kind of fireworks in their embrace. Some card carrying A.A.L.L.L (Anti Abrams Light Leak Loathers) members might object to the continued use throughout the duration, but I didn't mind it. Your colors are deep & rich in an almost filmic way in a couple of the forest scenes & particularly as we see the blues as he's opening the car door early on.

An aspect which though common, still added value, was your use of varied angles during the car driving sequence. The footage looked close to what you would obtain with a Hollywood camera car . The varied angles were a pro touch, the only thing missing was the rise & fall between them, for which you'd need, expensive professional gear & operators. I'd love to share how we've faked some of those shots over the years on low budget pictures, but I don't want to be responsible for propagating ideas that are potentially life threateningly dangerous & highly illegal. Suffice it to say, a shocking amount of that goes on in film making. Don't even get me started on stunts.

So, did I perceive any negatives?

As mentioned earlier, the song is serviceable, though I'm not sure it has the infectious hook quality to get people singing it in the shower. Thus commercial success is speculative. Next, let's talk about your star. Yes, there are a lot of big singers, but man, this guy's huge! So much so that while watching it detracts from the experience. I know it's not politically correct to talk about this, but it's just not healthy to put that kind of strain on the heart. When making a film you want your audience to be caught up in the emotional content, touched by it to the degree that they feel it. We need to remove any obstacles or distractions to that emotional connection. You know your singer friend as a big lovable teddybear, but your audience hasn't had that time invested. Some will come back with the politically correct response & say something like "Don't judge a book by its cover." But honestly, everyone does. The whole business of film is based on visuals that elicit emotional & cognitive reactions. So in this instance we've got an attempt at a touching emotional scene at a graveside, but we're distracted as he walks away. "Wow, this guy can hardly walk, is he going to make it?" See how that breaks the graveside sadness aspect of the scene?

If you love your friend, please encourage him in a more healthy choice of lifestyle. On a side note, I showed your video to a woman for a female perspective. She said the fact that he was so fat spoke to her that the love was deeper & not superficial. His wife looked past his exterior to the heart of the man (not in a coronary cardiac infarction sense ). Sorry, just trying to remain playful here. She also commented that the video was sad, though, she also didn't cry. Her other comment was that he appeared to be dressed like a slob in every scene. Women notice these things.

Speaking of straining hearts, you've ambitiously gone for a melodramatic conceptual story, & though it's a familiar theme bordering on cliche, I think you manage to pull it off. Two things in film are much harder than they appear; making people laugh & making people cry. The latter is infinitely more difficult. The fine line to tread is between genuine sincere emotion & corny or maudlin. The fact that you skirted that line gingerly is, I think a testament to your emerging ability as a filmmaker.

That being said, I can't say I really felt anything. Coming from me that's quite a statement, someone who gets all weepy watching a wedding video or rom-com chick flick. When I say ambitious, your film is asking a lot of the viewer. It's difficult to build an emotional bond or bridge to a person's heart in a 3 minute song. Difficult is not the same as impossible, but the task requires an extremely high degree of technical mastery (including film tech & dramatic performance ability). Yet I've seen this accomplished in a 30 second commercial. Music is a huge complimentary contributor here, so are color & light, camera angles, speed, etc. Other accouterments like wind, snow or rain can also assist, but the director needs restraint tempered with emotional sensitivity to ensure you don't go too far. Nothing stops our tears quicker than recognizing you're trying squeeze them out by manipulating us. So, should we give up trying the difficult things? No, but just be prepared to accept mastering this area can take years & even then you still need an almost perfect storm configuration of magic on the day to bring it all about. Doing all that on a low budget with amateur performers is a daunting task.

During your closing credits you've got a loud click accompanied by a slight shake, I'd lose that, along with the shouted comment as an epilogue. None of that adds anything but a sense of mood breaking unprofessionalism. Sure, you want to have a second or two of blooper material, but it doesn't work here, perhaps in a comedic film. You want to leave your audience contemplating deeper things on this one.

Earlier I mentioned shots that showed effective coloring, unfortunately the rest has a very washed out look. Your sky is nearly white. Some more color grading (even masked in the sky) treatment could up your value. The candle lit scenes just don't work here, sorry. The song says something about in the sheets, & I realize you want to keep your family rating, but we have a mostly black screen with a couple of lit spots from the candle flames. What we really need is a dimly lit room with a warm romantic glow & the candle's emanating a golden radiance, nothing stifles romantic bliss like a gloomy pit of darkness. Your scenes in the rain worked for me, though the backwards ball-cap & grimacing face detracted from the impact of the rain's emotional significance. I'd rather see him in a 3/4 headshot looking down sad, as we rotate our POV around him & rain is dripping off is face like tears in slow motion.

Finally, & this is a big point; the song says that he will remember her & the idea you want to impart is that this love was so perfect he can never forget her. So why is he discarding his wedding ring at the end? We understand you want to touch on the gravestone & make the shot meaningful, but this actually sends the exact opposite message. "Hey, I'm free from you, single again, off to find another." Bad message, & contradicts the previous 3 minutes. What I'd rather see would be his hand with wedding ring still displayed, lay a rose on that tombstone, & as we pull back a petal falls in slow motion. Then we have a closeup of the fresh dirt as the petal impacts in slow motion with a deep & powerful sound effect to your music.

Maybe he kisses the ring on his hand, then places that hand over his heart as he looks upward...

Thanks for sharing, Tawaan. Looking forward to more of your work.







J. Matthew
Global•Watch•Media•Consulting
www.GWM2.com

@GlobalWatchM3