Hey please let me know what yall think and how to improve it ..

New vid a did a couple months back let me know what ya'll think.. please all feedback is appreciated !!

Alright, here we go with another rap video. Being busy, I won’t have as much time on this one…

We always start with the positives. Right from the start I like this one. The style of the music, the video, his vocal tone, everything’s working for me. The simple but effective use of the moving shadows also holds interest. Yet all of this begins to wear very thin at around 50 seconds. By a minute 10 I’m already bored & tuning out. Let’s find out why…

You’ve always got to remember the milieu, the medium you’re operating in dictates how hard you have to go. For instance, if you’re a pro football player having an after-school game with some grade-schoolers, you don’t need to go all out tackling & bashing everyone. On the other hand, if you’re in the SuperBowl, you better bring it 110%. Similarly, in the world of music videos, we’ve seen it all; million dollar budgets & some of the most imaginative creative masterpieces ever. You really need to step up or be instantly forgotten, or worse… overlooked & never noticed.

So, how can you compete against massive budgets & huge production values? Creativity & originality, or at least high production values thru ingenuity & quality execution.

Let’s drill a little deeper. Everything starts well, but soon goes awry . Now, I know you were feeling it too, because at a minute 10 you show some desperation, trying to slip in that 3 way split screen. Three screens all showing the same image… why?

With a small budget we need to excel in other areas, to maintain interest. If we can’t wow them with spectacular explosions, super models & ferraris, we better have something of comparable interest. Again, & I don’t want to sound like a broken record, but it all begins with the script. In music videos if the song isn’t killer, how can the video ever be? This music track starts well, as does your man, as I mentioned. But you just can’t maintain the interest levels of the first 15 seconds when your lyrics are insipid drivel. I mean, “nigger” this, “suck” that…. really? Is this what song writing has devolved to? Don’t get me wrong, some of the top rappers use profanity, racism, violence, vulgarity, etc, but the difference is twofold. First, it’s buried 3 deep on the album somewhere, they don’t lead with it. Secondly, they are ALSO capable of some clever lyrics. You already know this; Dre, Tupac, Xibit, IceCube, IceT, Eminem, they all have some very witty wordplay in their songs. If you can’t make clever rhymes you’re in the wrong game.

Let’s put a lens on your lyrical content, basically he’s calling out other guys for not being as cool as him. His big trump card is that he sexed some other guy’s girl. That’s it? Ehh, no wonder I’m bored. No matter how tough the talk describing the scenario, it’s really nothing different than your typical soap opera. The stakes are too low, so our hero is shriveling. To make him seem larger than life, he needs to be in a much bigger game. Larger fish require bigger ponds.

The title says “freestyle,” I don’t believe for one second that wasn’t scripted. Who you trying to fool? Also, why would you waste your own time in making a video that wasn’t scripted? Or if you were going to work on building a brand why would you put out something that wasn’t fine tuned to perfection, instead of just winging it. This just doesn’t make any business sense. One of the most highly regarded lyricists, Leonard Cohen spends over 2 weeks on one word!

Let’s talk about business for a second. I’ve been around enough artists & performers to have heard every line in the book. You might dismiss the rappers I mentioned as “old school” or “sellouts,” but guess what, they’re all getting paid. They all have endorsement deals, TV shows, big contracts & big houses. So let’s learn from them, they’re in your genre, you need them as a mentor. Every one of those guys makes a song with a basic song structure; verse, verse, chorus, verse, verse, bridge, chorus, etc., or similar. What is that? It’s contrast, like I keep saying in art, you need contrast. We do it with light, music, words, everything, even food. If everything tastes the same, how much of it are you going to sell?

Time for a little positive - near the end of act 2 your man goes for a tempo shift, I like that, it breaks the rhythm, it’s a modicum of freshness in a dying track. But where’s the chorus? Where’s the hook?

Every one of the rappers I cited uses a chorus or hook in their track. Why do you think it’s called a hook? Because it hooks you like a fish, so you follow the track, it gets in your head, you want to hear it again, you’re singing it in the shower. You will buy it. This one? I can’t even remember it, 2 minutes later.

Even the track that’s arguably the very first rap song ever, I was listening to this probably before you were born, Grand Master Flash - Don’t Push Me. I’ll never forget I was at a boxing gym with a bunch of guys, one of my friends brought the bootleg cassette back from New York, this has to be about 30 years ago, everybody loved it. Perhaps that’s an understatement, we wanted to hear it over & over, it was infectious, everyone needed a copy, sure it was a brand new style & it’s difficult to be that new now, but it was full of great rhymes, ones you would memorize, AND it had a hook. I don’t think it had a single curse word or racial epithet, it didn’t need it. That song had pure energy, & started a revolution that changed the recording industry & rang up billions in revenue.

Ok, another positive in your piece, I like the subtle red tones in an otherwise B&W world. The hat & the lamp in the background are enough subtle color to work nicely. However, this color treatment doesn’t appeal to me so much when it comes to his facial skin tone. It makes him look like he’s wearing makeup or made of plastic or wax, not a good look.

Another bonus is your use of props. However, as I tell guys with effects, sometimes less is more. So, you’ve got your man wearing handcuffs. I like the idea, but not the deployment. First of all we see him handcuffed to the chair, what is the possible scenario? Well, we know it’s not cops, they wouldn’t cuff you with both hands in front to the sides like that, or in this location. Dirty cops teaching a lesson or preparing a hit wouldn’t cuff like that either. Even if someone was going to perform some horrible torture on your hands as happened to Clooney in Syriana, they would most likely use nylon zip straps to secure your wrists. Cops wouldn’t want blood or DNA on their cuffs in that kind of operation, zip straps would be the way to go. So, are we supposed to believe it’s rival thugs, or the jealous boyfriend who cuffed our man like that? Why wouldn’t they secure both hands in the back like most interrogators. This may seem like too much inquiry on a small detail, but if the scene isn’t plausible, what exactly are you trying to sell? We call this incongruency, when your backstory has no legs, the whole thing collapses as farcical. This isn’t a fantasy or comedy, you want him taken seriously, very seriously.

Also, he’s cuffed, & then he’s free, now what’s your story? Let me tell you what I like better. Instead of him ever being cuffed to the chair, he starts there sitting & rapping because he’s casual, he’s so secure in his gangster badassness that he doesn’t need to be jumping around, he’s scary just sitting down. Then, when we do see him standing, he’s got just one set of cuffs hanging from one wrist, not two. He’s not waving them around like “hey look at me! I’m tough… right?,” it’s subtle, if you see it fine, if you don’t, whatever. Think of this story, it’s much more interesting & compelling. Instead of a ridiculous hostage situation in the same room he’s in, he’s arrived here from somewhere else, with one cuff. Wow, look what that implies, he must have taken out some cops to get back here like that. This guy is really dangerous super badass. One cuff says cops tried & failed... checkmate = heavy street cred. Two cuffs says Frisco gay bondage scene = zero street cred.

Low budget, limited location, raise your values with variety of shots, differing angles, inserts, show his hand smacking his knee (hey, was that a set of cuffs on his wrist?), maybe he’s smoking something, before he gets up, he’s building & boom he flicks the smoke right into the lens, sparks, show him rise from the chair, kicking it back, give me some angles as you pan those tatts, we need more variety. I can see you tried some variety in the cut pacing, normally I don’t like the flicker effect, but I think it works here for the most part, but some of your other shots go on for too long. If you take all of your longest shots & cut them by half, add some more angles, inserts & cutaways, it will up your value. Repeatedly using the same medium shot & closeup straight on makes us tune out, especially when there’s nothing going on in the song to keep us engaged.

Something I would love to see is some subtle use of red & blue lights flashing thru that window behind him. Think about that. Even with cops outside, this guy is unfazed, nothing flusters him at all, he’s beyond cool, he’s Way Too Cold. This concept fits the song title, I’d like to explore it more. The whole fugitive idea is drawing me in, now I want to hear what he has to say. How about if at a crescendo of his rap he throws something at the wall, insert shot, it’s a cops badge stuck in the wall like a ninja star. That would be the perfect section to have a chorus that repeats, even just a little musical riff with sirens & a lyrical change-up, “They tryin fret me, n sweat me… they’ll never get me… Jes like you bin told, I’s way too cold”








J. Matthew
Global•Watch•Media•Consulting
www.GWM2.com

Wow! Man , thank you x10.this is the first truly and best advice anyone ever giving me. When you mention the 3way split I laugh cause I really hate that part,really did but the artist /client/rapper love it and I kept it instead of just going with my own creative decision ! I'll try not to do that again. I do understand the part about the hook,I've been around for a long time being 43 years old and worked in the music business half of my life (owned my own label and worked at an independent music distribution company in NYC where I was born and grew up,i understood that perfectly. Alot of the new generation of rappers don't have creativity or understanding on how to make a good simple song (3 16's and a hook) without cursing ,they just not great story tellers or great song writers like what we had earlier in rap.the new generation don't have a Slick Rick or a Krs One or let's take it back some more GrandMaster Meli Mel and a bunch more.

So getting back to the video concept man all your suggestions were great and creative ideas,I wish I would of though of them while doing the vid! So far my my videos do lack that ,I do have to plan and picture more of the video concept in my head and on paper before I shoot it.Newbie mistakes and lack of creativity showed up in my work ,man new world for me ! thats why this is my favorite site and I do appreciate the time you took to advice me and give me pointers how to improve ..thank you !!!

Hehe... well, it had a young feel, I wouldn't have pegged you at 43. But I've still got a few years on you yet. But I guess you probably did hear that Grand Master song back in the day.

For me, editing is a work in progress. Even the article, I've gone back to it a couple of times adding things as I think on the concept. The kid probably saw a 3 way split in another video & liked it. He wrongly thinks it adds value here. It's a bearable shot with 3 different views all moving in different ways, zoom, pan, tilt, or 3 pans, or tracking shots, but I prefer closeups for at least 2 of those, & it has to be interesting content. Maybe a hand flipping something in his fingers (later we find out it's that badge), pan the tatts & 3rd view of his face rapping. Or maybe one view is his foot tapping near a spilt bottle of whatever booze is en vogue for rap vids (but it can't be too high roller or it won't fit the locale). It might also up your baddass theme by having some spent shell casings on that floor. Ultimately I don't really care for the 3 way shot in this piece, it doesn't add value. Anything that doesn't add, detracts.

As I continue to contemplate on this one, the fictionally weak, jilted lover scenario is fading away as more & more I'm loving the cinematically strong outlaw concept.






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Man I agree with everything you said ! you already got me thinking and actually visualizing more just by your opinion on this video(wow) 43 years old I hope my mind is not too old to learn new ways .i mean you know the saying can't teach old dogs new trick !! Lol ....

Well, Trix pretty much said it all. So i would second most of those notions. But I am curious of a few things?

1. This was made in FCP X right? I ask because I am curious if people put stuff they want people to see they have done in FCP X or maybe because Trix is so good at giving criticism anything is put in here. Which I dont mind the latter, I just would like it to be stated.

2. As for the flicker thing...for me and music videos I like to use the beat and sounds of the music when illustrating music into video. For instance flicker would go good in electronic music when they have that tempo change that goes from like half notes to 1/64th notes. Which to me says flicker. In this one, nothing is happening with the music to denote the flutter. Is my eyeball fluttering, are the lights seriously that fast at turning on/off. Probably not. And he isnt in a night club. So to me this is saying, hey look at me i am an effect. which, usually you dont wanna do.

3. I would think you weren't creative on this project because I know I wouldn't have probably been. I am only creative when its something that peaks my interest or unless there was a lot of money involved to deserve the time. So dont feel ashamed if you didn't make it as awesome as you could have. Am i right on this?

4. What I liked about the video. I liked the location.

For the first question , yes it was done on fcpx , which is actually my first music video using this program.. i'm a sony vegas user but the hype about fcpx made me switch over and to tell you the truth i love fcpx then sony vegas !!

As far as the flicker thing, if i'm correct about what your talking about i'm actually doing it with the rhythm of the hi hats on the beat, if thats what your talking about.. I also have the lights moving. What i did was use the light from my cell phone to make it look like just one light moving on top of him. kind of like that interrogation light like in the movies ! not sure if i did a good job with that.

You know for me anything that you sat there and created or thought of doing before you started is call creating an idea so by that your already in a creative mood ! now if it was good or bad thats up too the individual watching saying to himself i could of you done it different or change a few things here and there and then i would either agree or disagree. In this case i agree with Trix on his suggestions ! coming from some one more experience or maybe some one less . Like maybe my wife telling me you could of add it this or that ! Sometimes is easier said then done ! lol ... as far as ashamed , that i'm not ! i just think it could of been a lot better with the suggestions coming from Trix without a doubt !

I think i misled with the flitter comment. It was like at 1:29 and 1:37 i think. Where you do some quick camera changes and opacity on/off. I didnt hear the hi-hats, but i am listenin on a laptop so that might be why i am not hearing it.

And i didnt mean to say you were ashamed. I think I just read one of your comments before the wrong way and interpreted that your creativity was lacking for this project. And I am only 29, so trix would fall on the more experience section