Critique My Video!

I'm not the rapper, let me know what you think. Sorry I don't know how to embed...





Thx for watching

This site works out the embedding perfectly, & I like your wavy logo.

That's the good news. You're probably not going to like the rest. Hey, I enjoy a good rap video as much as the next guy, but ... well this one is quite a challenge for me.

It's very difficult to find anything positive or appealing in this piece, but I found a couple of things.

Your man in front of the 3/4 diagonal shot down the cement wall with the nice texture, though I would have preferred it on the other side of that telephone pole so our wall would seem to stretch off unbroken towards the horizon. Speaking of horizon, you need to apply some blurring filter because with your camera set up we see virtually no depth of field. That screams camcorder (low budget, low value).

The other shot I like is straight down the metal grid flanked corridor overpass, this also gives us a nice vanishing point type perspective, the grid is interesting too.

The momentary glimpse of the luggage handling system at the air terminal is kind of intriguing, but then … what does it have to do with anything? Why is the US Airways Center featured so prominently?

Ok, so now you’ve kind of GeoTagged your location, but why? There’s no story, that’s ok, it’s a performance piece of sorts, but it goes nowhere fast. It comes off looking as though it was entirely shot in a 50 foot radius. That could be ok too, but there is very little to keep the viewer’s attention. The “song” is atrocious, not just for the stream of profanity & racial epithets, but because it also goes nowhere fast. There is no variety, nothing clever, no chorus, no hook, nothing memorable. Instantly forgettable.

You don’t want your work to be forgotten, I’m sure he doesn’t either, but the description of the song can also be applied to the video, people will begin to tune out by a minute in.

So, what can be done? Well, what are you going for? One assumes from the night shoot, black & white imagery, concrete & steel, urban scenery, you’re striving for a bold hard edged street cred. Unfortunately it fails on this level too. Even your black & white image isn’t, it’s a kind of sepia, washed out, not enough contrast. It’s just not hard enough, from the lyrics to the video, it all comes off weak.

Art is about contrast, there’s none here. It really has the feel of a guy lurking around out back of a mall.

Now, if you had a story, maybe an interesting bag came out of that luggage system, passed out a back door. Suddenly we’re interested, something’s going on here. Smuggling, mystery, danger, intrigue. But that’s a different kind of rap video with big players, cars, bling, girls, etc. We don’t have the budget. So lose the air terminal, it has nothing to do with anything here. It only adds to the desperation of the locationless video shoot. Ironically our hero is singing about having “green” in a video that portrays him as impoverished.

Go for your gritty street cred badass video. You’re going to need to scout some better spots, with graffiti, garbage, broken glass, boarded up shops, a place of despair that has made our man the ferocious urban warrior he is. We need a much bigger song, something that builds, has power & passion, he’s rising up & out of his surroundings, he is definitely someone to notice.

I’ll leave you with 2 things to consider. Yes these guys have bigger production values to work with, but look past that. First of all, this Eminem video, it wouldn’t matter if you’re a white 100 year old granny from the upper West side, you’re still going to be drawn into this song, it’s exciting, it builds. We start with a gritty street level, see how it works well? But get this… even when he’s made it, look at his face, he’s still filled with angst, he’s still dangerous. There’s something going on inside...



Next, this old Method Man track. See how they broke up the street scenes? Different shades, different styles of shots, all that could be low budget, but it’s interesting. Note the use of props, costume, steam, etc. (you can fake the steam in post) Check the sets, the urban feel is like yours times a thousand. Look at the significance of him sitting on the ground in that coat. What does it imply? So, then, when we see his crew, busting loose, on that bus, covered in graffiti, we know the type of street these guys come from, the projects the trouble, these guys are dangerous. Nothing weak here.

You can create much of that with imagery & style. But you need variety, contrast, creativity, imagination & a much bigger song.











J. Matthew
Global•Watch•Media•Consulting
www.GWM2.com

Thx for the review and constructive criticism , my next video will be better.

You've got a great attitude Jgutta, that's a huge asset in life.

Some people freak out from brutally honest critiques, we've seen it here. It takes a certain level of maturity to be able to see your deeply personal work with an detached perspective. From my side of the equation, I’ve worked with colleagues who sacrifice integrity & creative artistry, just to get on to the next client, it’s only about the money. They would say to me in this situation “Why waste your time on a kid with no budget?” My philosophy is that everyone deserves a little encouragement.

A lot of the rap game is ego driven, hopefully your performer is open to positive growth too. Speaking of rap, the other night we were watching a movie many might dismiss as a "chick flick," called Pitch Perfect. It's actually a very well written & executed, highly entertaining romantic comedy which features a-cappella singing. So check this, in the middle of the movie, a team of girls sings No Diggity by Blackstreet. Now, there's the test of a well written rap song, when it can cross genres, genders, styles & settings yet still sound great over a decade later. Blackstreet formulated that track with great rhymes, clever wordplay, various musical change-ups, & opposing vocal styles (there's that variety or contrast we're looking for).

Ok, so we can't save your buddy's song, but let's see if we can do something with your visuals, if nothing more than to exercise your skills in FCPX. Now, bear in mind, this is with no reshoots, using only existing footage. We can achieve some increased interest levels using similar techniques as we see in the Method Man video. His has the urban street scene feel, yet maintains viewer attention better thru frequent style variations.

I’ll offer a few suggestions & you can go in & experiment a bit with your project. You may find some new options on your own that look better than my ideas.

First, let’s apply some blur to the background to create some bokeh. These two links can help

www.fcp.co/forum/9-free-fcpx-plugins-and...plus-bokeh-lens-blur

www.fcp.co/forum/4-final-cut-pro-x-fcpx/...n-blur-problem#16633

It might be nice to blur out the airways center sign a bit, making it more mysterious we don’t really want to be able to read it. I’d also like a bit of vignetting there to bring its brightness down a bit, without darkening your entire frame. Maybe lose the incongruous baggage handling clip, it’s not adding any value. Another shot I’d scrap is the fire hydrant, which makes one think of dogs pissing, no added value there.

You’ve already got some slight tints happening, a kind of purple in the early slowmotion walking & metal cage scenes & some reddish tint which is so subtle I earlier referred to it as sepia tone. The problem is, your man is too dark in relation to the background (photographically not racially), so he’s almost being swallowed up by the shadows. I’d much rather see him with the higher contrast look we see in the Method Man video, the blacks are more black, the whites are more white, no washed out sepia tone for our man. To achieve this, you’re going to have to mask him, raise his exposure then tweak the contrast. His vest might be brown, which is not the most attractive, as your exposure comes up you might want to tint it a bit & experiment with some colors, but I really feel this guy needs to be hardcore black & white. Maybe add a flash flare or glint off his eyes once or twice, maybe a bit of a glow or subtle light rays coming out of him for one shot. Maybe when he says he speaks more truth than a preacher. But it’s got to be subtle, not cheesy.

Now, let’s work in some change-ups. When he’s in the steel cage over the bridge, let’s give that a bit more of a blue tint. Cold blue steel is hard, it’s like he’s in a prison, ready to bust out. There’s your social commentary subtext. Maybe you can make a copy of the clip, raise it above the timeline, apply a blue tint to it, then experiment with some different blend modes & opacities on the overlay. I like the idea of our man being unaffected by the tints, so maybe mask him with a feathered edge. Don’t overdo your tints & hues, subtle is all we need here. You’ve got a bit of tint, bring it up a bit more & more towards blue instead of the purple, but not too much. The red tint scene in the Method Man vid is a bit too much for my tastes.

Next, we go to him standing in front of the diagonal wall, let’s give that one a slight burnt reddish tint, like the color of old bricks. Again, I’d prefer him unaffected, protected from the hues by a multipoint mask on his layer. Subconsciously this implies that no matter the colors of the street, the harsh concrete or the cruel cage, our man is unaffected, he remains true to what drives him, the hard edges of his high contrast image are real, he’s a standout.

Again, we have to be subtle with these tints. You don’t want a bright red scene & a bright blue scene, this is not primary color day on Sesame Street, these are the gentle hues that seep out of this dire existence. Look at the opening shots in the Emimen vid, see the green tint, it’s cold, sickly, impoverished, it’s what saturates those scenes with despair. That greenish tint might work better in your vid than the burnt red, as it continues with our cold palette. Eminem’s depressing pale green scenes sets the tone, so when we see him later in the bright colors of success, we have a wonderful contrast. (Speaking of green, ironically your man calls this video I Got Green, when he obviously doesn't.)

Your man hasn’t quite made it yet, he’s trapped in a bleak world still, but our contrast is that he’s separate from the background, by lights, blurs & colors, it’s as if he doesn’t really belong there, or more accurately, he’s familiar with the surroundings but he’s lifting off the page, out of the image, destined for greatness. Hehe.. now you see why we need a bigger song.

Play with the colors, try some light leaks or a flare off a streetlight, how about some steam or mist in one or two shots? I wouldn’t mind in a black & white image, to have a dark red graffiti scrawl on a wall in the background. Nothing legible so as to distract, perhaps blurred a bit too.

Start having fun in FCPX, avail yourself of some of the excellent plugins members have provided here. Be creative, enjoy yourself, the video can only get better.

you never cease to amaze me TrixTrax. i read al your stuff. you should seriously write a book =]

Kind words, PTRush. Thank you.

soooo... how much you willing to pay for that book? hehe...

but seriously

It's all just playing with music & light...
plus, I love to talk in depth on the things I'm passionate about.